Yes, Mom or Dad, they are listening to you!

Have you ever noticed that every once in a while God has a way of teaching you a lesson at the time and place that you need it the most, and often from a source that maybe you least expect it? For me, lately, it has been my audiences teaching me a thing or two. I guess that's not that unusual, except that it seems that the last little while I've been getting the same message from different audiences, in different ways, enough so, that I've sat up and taken notice.

I inadvertently talk about my kids and parenting during my presentations, and as a result, I have the good fortune of attendees coming up to me afterwards and sharing wisdom they've gleaned. I have to admit that some of my best material is the result of an idea I have presented in front of an audience that then gets discussed, caressed, molded and congealed through discussions with members of the audience afterward. The message has more of their experiences and insights incorporated and it seems to create messages that have a more universal and "gut-level" appeal.

Okay, so much for the preamble, the message that I've been getting is this. I tell a lot of stories and share experiences in my talks. I can't tell you how many parents have come up to me with a version of this message: They say, "Vilis, I can't tell you how frustrating is is raising my kids, particularly when they were pre-teens and teenagers, because the communication became so difficult and strained and you think that no matter what you say as a parent, that they don't hear a word of what we say to them."

That's not the lesson .... here's the lesson. Then the parents say: "And then this is what happened. One day, when they're older and more mature, you hear your kids saying the stuff that you had been telling them, and the stuff that you had been saying, and particularly the stuff that you were so sure that they hadn't heard and that you were sure wasn't getting through to them. ... And, it is immensely gratifying."

But that's not the message ... here's the message. "It's immensely gratifying, but then there's this immense sadness, too. Because all of a sudden (and almost every parent who shared this experience with me, and there have been a few, said the same thing) you have this incredible wish ... and that wish is that you wish you had talked to them more, shared more, and told them more ... because all the time that they where giving you more than their share of that "I am a too cool teenager" attitude, deep down inside THEY WERE LISTENING WHEN YOU DIDN'T THINK THEY WERE LISTENING."

"Have you stopped sharing your message?"

I really believe that values and morals are often forged through the telling of stories, particularly in a family setting. I know as a professional speaker, I can share a truly "great concept" and it may, or may not, hit the mark. But if I can illustrate the concept or message with a story, the concept and the story will hit home with an audience member at the "gut level" and will be remembered long after I've left the platform.

Don't ever stop sharing your stories with your children, regardless of how old they are, because even when you think they're not listening ... they're listening! (okay you may have to get them to tune down their iPods) ... but they'll be listening!

Here's my motivational challenge to you: Share your values and stories with your kids. I guarantee you won't regret it!

Have a great day!
Vilis Ozols